


So Natural

by fembuck



Category: Birds of Prey (TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 01:59:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2714807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fembuck/pseuds/fembuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a quiet night in New Gotham, when Dinah and Alfred are otherwise occupied, Barbara and Helena have dinner together, and the night ends in a way neither expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Natural

Helena slid a knife out of the drawer and then began to idly twirl it between her fingers as she walked across the kitchen to the cutting board where some kale was waiting to be chopped. With Dinah away on a school trip, and Alfred in London visiting some old army buddies, the Clock Tower was quieter than Helena had become used to, but the familiar sound of Barbara tapping away on Delphi still filtered up from the lower level of the lair, and hearing it brought a soft smile to Helena’s face.  She wasn’t sure when exactly the sound of Barbara typing had become something that made her smile, but she couldn’t deny that she  _did_ find the sound of it comforting.  Just as listening to her mother hum as she had moved around the house had made Helena feel relaxed and safe when she was younger, for quite some time the sound of Barbara’s fingers flying over keyboards and the whirring of her chair as she moved from console to console had made Helena feel like she was home.

“You know,” Helena called out over her shoulder.  “This would go a lot faster if you helped.”

That was a blatant lie, and they both knew it.  Barbara, despite her many skills in many different areas, was somewhat of a disaster in the kitchen.  However, Helena was never one to pass up an opportunity to affectionately harass the redhead – and truthfully, she wouldn’t have been opposed to having a little company while she cooked.

On the main floor of the Clock Tower, Barbara’s eyes did not stray from the screen she had been focused on before Helena spoke, but her lips did curve up into a little grin.

“I think I’d better stay put.  I’d just get in your way,” Barbara hollered back to Helena, knowing that it would get a rise out of the other woman.

“Oh, so you’re doing me a favour by leaving me to here swelter over a hot stove, forgotten and unloved while you play with your toys?” Helena yelled back.

“Exactly,” Barbara agreed cheerfully, her tone painting a picture in Helena’s mind of exactly which of her shit eating grins Barbara was wearing.  “You’re welcome,” Barbara added a moment later, and Helena’s lips split into a grin, even as she shook her head at Barbara.

“Smartass,” Helena replied, not even trying to hide her amusement as she slid a clove of garlic in front of her.

“Takes one to know one,” Barbara bellowed, sounding only mildly distracted by whatever it was that she was doing on Delphi.

The truth was she should have been concentrating more fully on the task at hand, but Helena’s good moods were contagious, and she found it hard not to get sucked into the game when Helena decided to be playful.

“Just so you know, I’m sticking my tongue out at you,” Helena yelled down to Barbara, even though she was actually quite honored that Barbara was still playing along with her despite Delphi singing its Siren’s song to her.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Barbara asked without missing a beat.

“Yeah, I did,” Helena called out as she pulled open the door of a nearby cabinet.  “I was telling you that you should really be nicer to someone who’s preparing food you plan on ingesting,” she continued, her tone humorously pointed.

“Why’s that?” Barbara inquired in overly innocent tone.

“Because if you don’t, your meal might just end up getting made with a special ingredient,” Helena replied warningly.  “Wanna guess what?”

“Love?” Barbara suggested.

Helena smiled, and then, in an overly excited voice she exclaimed, “Oh my god, Barbara! You’re such a good guesser.”

This master work of sarcasm was followed by the sound of Barbara’s laughter filling the air, and Helena smiled to herself as she began measuring out some rice wine vinegar, pleased to have inspired such a lovely sound.

xxx

Helena was near the end of her preparations for their meal when the sound of Barbara’s chair on the move replaced the sound of Barbara typing.

“All caught up on the latest celebrity gossip?” Helena asked, looking over her shoulder so that she could flash Barbara a cheeky little smile as the redhead entered the room.

“You know how I love to stay up-to-date with the questionable romantic decisions of the rich and famous,” Barbara drawled as she came to a stop by the kitchen table and then leaned back in her chair, settling in to watch Helena work.

Helena was always a whirlwind, a perpetual motion person, and that did not change when she was in the kitchen.  She was a lovely and graceful whirlwind however, and Barbara had always enjoyed watching Helena move about, chopping, flipping, steaming and sautéing on the rare occasions that the brunette cooked for her.  The simple joy Barbara found in watching the domestic display dismayed her somewhat since normalcy had never been something that Barbara was overly concerned with – despite how good she generally was at faking it.  However, she couldn’t deny the fact that she did find something soothing about the pedestrian act of sitting around in the kitchen with Helena as she cooked.  So, eventually Barbara had decided that everyone needed a little ‘normal’ in their lives, even lair-dwelling, eccentric, crime-fighting vigilantes with super computers, and she simply accepted the beauty she found in the little things.

“So?” Helena inquired, glancing back over her shoulder to look at Barbara.  “Any doom and slash or gloom to report?”  She phrased the question as a joke because, well, she was her.  But she knew that whatever Barbara had been doing on Delphi had not involved scrolling through popular social media sites and she was curious about what had kept Barbara from her for so long.

“Not yet,” Barbara replied, “But the night is young.”

“Aw,” Helena cooed, “that’s my girl!  Always looking past the silver lining for more dark clouds,” she continued, turning her head to smirk at Barbara who stuck her tongue out at her, which only made Helena smile wider.  “So,” Helena went on a few seconds later, “if Gotham isn’t on fire, what were you doing down there?  You know, besides avoiding your adult responsibility to help feed yourself?”

“Just because it’s quiet in New Gotham at the moment, doesn’t mean that it’s quiet everywhere, Hel,” Barbara pointed out, rolling herself closer to Helena as she spoke so that she could then reach out and pinch the brunette’s side.  

“Hey!” Helena squeaked, instinctively slapping her hand down at Barbara’s, trying to swat it away from her.

“Hey!” Barbara parroted back mockingly, batting her hands at Helena’s, smiling happily at the brunette a moment later when Helena scowled at her.

“Mockery and ingratitude, these are my rewards for toiling away preparing a delicious meal for you? All on my own I might, and _will,_ add.”

“I can’t wait to download the _Lifetime_ movie of the week based on your heroic struggle,” Barbara replied, which made Helena glower at her again before pointedly turn her back on Barbara.  “Aw, don’t be like that.  I would have kept you company, but…”

“Would have, could have, _should have_ ,” Helena interjected, placing a strong emphasis on the last two words of her sentence.

“But,” Barbara continued as if Helena hadn’t even spoken, “these very talented hands were helping out with a crisis in Central City.”

“Ah, the old ‘saving lives’ excuse,” Helena breathed out.  “It’s a good one,” she added lightly a moment later, which made Barbara smile.  “I guess I’ll have to try and find my way to forgiveness.”

Barbara smiled, but remained quiet for a minute as she wheeled herself back over to the kitchen table to give Helena more room to roam about.  “How’s  that quest going?” Barbara asked once she had settled herself.  “I’ve actually got GPS access on my chair if you need some help.  I’m always happy to help.”

“Yeah, unless it’s in the kitchen,” Helena muttered.  “Cheeky little shit,” she added under her breath a moment later, her playfully dour tone drawing a laugh from Barbara.

“You’re right.  You’ve shamed me.  I’m shamed.  How can I be of assistance?” Barbara asked as Helena gracefully criss-crossed the kitchen, knowingly making her way about with ease as she went through her preparations.

Helena huffed and then shook her head as she reached out to turn of the burners under the kale and pork chops before moving the frying pans to rest of cooler elements. Barbara’s timing was as impeccable as ever.

“How about setting a table for two?” Helena suggested as she dished the roasted butternut squash and sautéed kale into serving bowls.

“Coming right up,” Barbara said with a smile.

That was one kitchen duty she could handle.

xxx

“You actually want to go?” Barbara asked, relief clear in her voice though she tried not to let it show, not wanting to put any pressure on Helena to come along with her, even though Helena had been her companion to the event for the last few years.

There would be other staff members and volunteers around for her to mingle with and talk to, but the night always went so much faster – and was so much more entertaining – when Helena was there with her.  Her co-workers were good company, but Helena was her favourite company, and her presence made everything more tolerable.

“Of course, it’s my second favourite annual school event,” Helena replied, her fork hanging midway between her mouth and her plate so that she could respond to Barbara without rudely chewing at the same time.

“Let me guess, number one’s the staff Christmas party,” Barbara replied knowingly.

“It’s a magical time of year,” Helena grinned, and Barbara couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m beginning to think you’re slipping something into the punch,” Barbara said a minute later, looking at Helena suspiciously.

“Barbara, please,” Helena scoffed as she pushed her empty plate away from her.  “Nobody needs to trick teachers into drinking.  The trick is…”

“Getting them to stop.  Thank you, Helena.  Really, it’s still funny,” Barbara replied, her voice a practiced monotone that had Helena grinning halfway through her response.

“Should we bet?” Helena asked a few moments later, resting her elbows on the table as she leaned towards Barbara, her eyes alight with amusement.

“On what?” Barbara asked wearily.

At the moment Helena looked like pure trouble, and Barbara knew that’s exactly what she was in for.

“How many used condoms we’ll find on the dance floor at the end of the night,” Helena replied, laughing a second later at the appalled look that had formed on Barbara’s face.

“I miss the good old days when people had the decency to sneak into bathroom stalls and stairwells,” Barbara sighed, because as much as it horrified her, she knew that Helena wasn’t joking.

“But enough about your high school highlights,” Helena teased, making Barbara sigh deeply.  “What?” Helena asked innocently.  “You mad, Barbara?” she continued, laughing.  “Am I tarnishing your reputation?  Were you one of those ‘under the bleachers’ girls?”

“Keep it up and I’ll tell Dinah the story about you and the hot dog,” Barbara replied.

Helena’s smile evaporated instantly and she slumped back in her chair, eyeing Barbara with a surly expression.

“Ginger devil,” Helena grumbled, and in response Barbara smiled at her widely and then shrugged.  “Whatever,” Helena declared.  “I’m not gonna let you ruin my good mood,” she continued, pointing a defiant finger at Barbara before she spread her arms wide and sighed happily.

“And what exactly has you in such a good mood?” Barbara asked, knowing Helena well enough to recognize her change of attitude for what it was, namely the lead up to some kind of antics.

“It’s just so peaceful tonight.  It’s so nice and calm.  I feel lighter somehow, like a Norse half-giant has been lifted off my shoulde…”

“I don’t know why you even bother,” Barbara interjected before Helena could continue.  “Dinah’s firmly wormed her way into your heart, and we all know it, including her,” she pronounced, pointing her finger at Helena.

Though the years had pierced Helena with loss and pain, hardening her outer shell, much of Helena’s surliness was just bravado, a practiced and protective mask she wore to safeguard the soft and tender underbelly she still had, even after all that life had thrown at her.  It didn’t surprise Barbara that Helena liked to pretend she was composed of steel and darkness, but she was not going to let Helena get away with thinking that she was actually fooled by her theatrics.

“Whatever,” Helena griped.  “Just know that if she _has_ grown on me, it’s like a third nipple that I’ve resigned myself to,” she continued, and even though Helena’s comment was awful, Barbara couldn’t help but laugh.

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Barbara stated when she got her laughter under control.

“So should you, Chuckles,” Helena pointed out, earning a sheepish look from Barbara.

“You know,” Barbara began a few seconds later, in the mood to lay some antics down herself.  “Since you were kind enough to volunteer to cook tonight…”

“That’s me, so selfless, always giving.  Mother Helena they might one day call me.”

“I decided to pick up some dessert on the way home from work,” Barbara continued as if Helena hadn’t spoken.

“Dessert,” Helena breathed out eagerly, her eyes widening and becoming alight with excitement.  

It was adorable, and at that moment there was no doubt in Barbara’s mind that if Helena had a tail, it would have been wagging.

“Mm hmm,” Barbara replied, grateful for the years of teaching and crime-fighting that had taught her how to keep her poker-face in place, when all she wanted to do was smile at Helena like she was the most precious thing Barbara had ever seen.  “But now that you’re being so mean to our regrettably absent partner and friend, I’m not sure that you deserve …”

“Barbara,” Helena cut in, her expression now serious and her tone warning.  “You’ve known me for a long time, long enough to know that you shouldn’t mess with me about certain things,” Helena continued, and Barbara had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep her expression in the vicinity of neutral.  “You know dessert is one of those things, Barbara.  You know dessert is my most favourite meal of all possible mea…”

“It’s not really a meal though...” Barbara began.

“It’s my most favourite meal,” Helena repeated firmly.  “Don’t tease me with dessert and then cruelly rip it away, Barbara.  You won’t like me when I’ve been teased with dessert and had it cruelly ripped away.  Don’t mess, Barbara, or it’s gonna be like the final act of Hamlet up in here.”

“That sounds like a challenge.  You think you can take me, Kitten?” Barbara asked, quirking her eyebrow at Helena.  “Remember, I know all your moves.  I taught them to you.”

Helena smirked.

“Alright, maybe not in a fair fight,” Helena drawled.  “But Foxy, I don’t fight fair,” she declared, her eyes glinting mischievously before she snapped her teeth in Barbara’s direction.

“I guess I better go get the dessert then,” Barbara breathed out, holding Helena’s shining eyes.  “I don’t know if you’ve had your shots,” she teased, laughing when Helena’s eyes narrowed at her.

xxx

“This feels like skipping class,” Helena said with a smile as she slipped onto the couch beside Barbara, dragging a large, fluffy blanket along with her.

Once she was on the couch, Helena lifted up the edge of the blanket with a questioning look, and when Barbara nodded at her, she smiled and then snuggled up against the redhead’s side, drawing the blanket over both of them.

Most nights Helena was up for patrol and the possibility of a good fight, but hanging out alone with Barbara always had a calming effect on her, and so as long as no alerts popped up on Delphi, Helena was quite happy to spend what was left of the evening curled up on the couch with Barbara, marathoning some series on MediaSurf.

“You mean, you think it’s like skipping, right?” Barbara said as Helena adjusted the blanket and her body until she was perfectly comfortable against her side.  “You wouldn’t know, because you would never have done that,” Barbara continued, looking over at Helena with as serious an expression as she could muster.

“Of course not,” Helena gasped, sounding scandalized.  “For shame, Barbara.  Who do you think you’re talking to here?  Just the thought of all of the learning opportunities I could have lost is enough to give me nightmares.”

“Smartass,” Barbara breathed out fondly.

“Takes one to know one,” Helena replied, parroting Barbara’s words from earlier back at her.

“Well, it’s no wonder we get along so well then,” Barbara drawled, smiling that crooked smile that Helena loved.

She loved the sexy way Barbara’s lip curled when she smiled that smile.  She loved the wicked glint that always sparkled in Barbara’s eyes when she smiled that smile, and though she knew it was dangerous for her heart and her sanity, she loved the way that smile made her mind fog over and her heart beat wildly beneath her breast.

When Barbara smiled that smile it was like the sound of cars, the hum of Delphi, and all of the other background clutter that usually filled her head, faded away until all she could see, and smell, and hear was Barbara.  

When Barbara smiled that smile it was like they were the only two people in the world, and all Helena wanted to do was lean over and press their lips together, until she had made Barbara feel as warm and dazed as Barbara made her.

Honestly and truly, Helena didn’t realize she had moved until she heard Barbara gasp.  But her lips were touching Barbara’s by then and Helena was lost; lost to the softness of Barbara’s lips, lost to the feel of Barbara’s fingers on her arm (gripping her tightly).  Helena was lost to the warmth of Barbara’s skin, and to the feel of Barbara’s tongue stroking hers, and to the way Barbara sighed into her mouth before using that deliciously firm grip to draw Helena even closer to her.

And then it was over, and all of the sounds and the clutter came rushing back to Helena’s head as she stared at Barbara wide-eyed, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she gazed at Barbara, aroused by what had just happened between them, and both terrified and hopeful about what might happen next.

“Helena?” Barbara breathed out questioningly.

“Yes?” The brunette rasped, her voice soft and rough.

“You kissed me.”

“Yes,” Helena breathed again, her lips involuntarily twitching up for a split second as her gaze fell to Barbara’s mouth and her mind was flooded with remembrances of just how amazing kissing Barbara had felt.  “Are you mad?” Helena asked, her eyes snapping back up Barbara’s a few seconds later when she realized what she had been doing.

“No,” Barbara said softly, noting Helena’s anxiety - even in her own muddled state - and wanting to soothe it.  “More … confused,” she sighed a moment later.

Barbara hadn’t expected Helena to kiss her, but her reaction to the kiss did not surprise her.  She was attracted to Helena, and she’d been aware of the attraction for quite some time.  After becoming aware of how her feelings had changed, she had considered whether or not she should act on them, but she had decided that their friendship and partnership was enough for her.  That did not stop her from sometimes wondering what kissing Helena or making love to her would be like however, her decision hadn’t erased her longing, and so, minutes before, when she had felt Helena’s body pressed against her, Barbara had been unable to do anything but respond. She had kissed Helena back hungrily, she had enjoyed every moment of it, and she was not the least bit surprised by that.

What confused her was Helena, and that the kiss had happened at all.  Because from the way Helena had reacted after their lips had parted, Barbara was certain that Helena hadn’t exactly planned the kiss out beforehand.  Even though she had initiated it, the kiss had surprised Helena, and Barbara wasn’t sure what that meant.

Had Helena kissed her as a joke? As a way of stopping the teasing she had been doing? Had it just been an impulse that had taken Helena over as they sat there snuggled together? Had it been a random desire, a whim that Helena saw no reason to resist?  Or had the desire been lurking inside of Helena for months or even years, as it had been lurking inside of Barbara?  Had Helena been fighting an attraction to her and finally lost?  And if Helena did want her, how did she want her?  Was it just a physical urge?  Did Helena just want sex to become another aspect of their friendship?  Was it to be just another activity they did together like watching TV, crime-fighting and sparring?  Or did Helena want more?  Was the kiss the precursor to a shift towards romance for them?

Barbara didn’t know the answers to these questions, and the not knowing agitated her.  Because though she did not even want to think the words to herself, she could feel the truth of them no matter how hard she tried not to.  Barbara knew what she wanted, and she had made peace with never getting it, but that kiss, god that kiss had woken her heart from slumber, it had made hope flare hot and bright in her heart.  She now knew what it felt like to have Helena pressed up against her in desire, she knew how soft Helena’s lips were, and the sounds she made when her tongue ring was stroked, and it all made Barbara’s desire so much more acute.  Barbara knew what she wanted, and after what had just happened, she knew how much more it would hurt now to find out that Helena didn’t want her the same way she wanted Helena.

“Why …” Barbara began before pausing to try and fortify herself.  “Why did you? Kiss me?” she finally asked, not at all pleased with the final product, but utterly unable to better at the moment.

“I … didn’t really plan it,” Helena replied softly, her cheeks colouring slightly as she momentarily dropped her eyes from Barbara’s.  “You were just … you were smiling, and so … _so_ beautiful,” she sighed, looking back up at Barbara with such reverence and longing that for a moment Barbara forgot how to breath.  “I wanted to kiss you, but I didn’t plan on it.  It just … happened naturally … like breathing.”  

Helena’s eyes dropped to Barbara’s lips again as she finished talking, and Barbara knew what Helena was thinking, she knew what she wanted, because she wanted it too.  

“Are you mad?” Helena asked again, soft and vulnerable.

“No,” Barbara assured her again, instinctively reaching up to cup Helena’s face so that she could stroke her cheek reassuringly with her thumb.  “I’m …” Barbara’s eyebrows creased as she once again found herself struggling to try and find words.  “I guess … I just don’t know what it means.”

Upon hearing that, Helena surprised them both by smiling shyly and then laughing softly.

“You don’t know what it means when someone kisses you?” she asked.

Barbara flushed, suddenly feeling very foolish and her hand fell from Helena’s face as her eyes skittered away from the brunette’s.

“There can be a lot of reasons for a kiss,” Barbara finally murmured, though she continued to avoid Helena’s gaze.  “There can be many different types of attraction,” she went on.  “It’s best, I think, in these situations … not to make assumptions,” she concluded.

“Okay,” Helena agreed, reaching for Barbara’s hand and taking it into hers, seeking to reassure Barbara with her touch the way Barbara had tried to comfort her a minute before.  “I see your point,” she murmured before breathing in deeply, fortifying herself.  “The truth is that while I didn’t plan on kissing you, I’m … I’m not surprised that I did,” Helena began nervous, but determined.  “I’ve wanted to kiss you for while … a long while,” she admitted.  “And, well, we both know that self-control isn’t really one of my top personality traits,” she continued, relaxing a little when her words brought a small smile to Barbara’s lips.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Barbara breathed out, finally shifting her eyes back over to meet Helena’s, Helena’s words easing the knot of worry in her stomach a little bit.  “Being the Huntress requires plenty of self-control.”

Helena’s eyes were soft and as tender as the smile Barbara’s words brought to her lips.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome,” Barbara replied, smiling again despite her nerves.

“Do … do you remember,” Helena started again, “How when you broke up with Wade, I told you that your problem was that you only went out with one guy at a time?” Helena asked, tentative and shy again, but pushing forward nonetheless.

Barbara nodded, clearly confused by the digression, but she showed some admirable self-control herself by not questioning Helena about it.  She could see how nervous Helena was, she could hear it in her voice, and feel it in the way her palms were sweating as Helena held her hand, and she didn’t want to add to Helena’s anxiety.  She had asked a question, Helena was answering it, and Barbara was determined to let her answer it in her own way and at her own pace.

“I was joking of course … well, a little,” Helena continued, shooting Barbara an impish little smile.  “I’m only mentioning it because … it made me, I mean a little after that conversation, it occurred to me that I hadn’t really done anything more than flirt with another person in a long time, and even that was more out of habit than any real desire,” Helena continued, her mind momentarily drifting to Reese and her paltry attempts to start something up with him.  “And when I thought about that, it made me start thinking about why that might be.”

“And?” Barbara inquired softly, trying very hard not to sound overeager.

“And I came to the conclusion that I was sort of chasing after dream before, after some image that I had of what a ‘normal life’ is, you know, what it should be like.  I was young, and reasonably attractive, and …”

“You’re more than reasonably attractive,” Barbara interjected before she could think better of it.  However, before she could start cursing herself for the slip up, a shy but large smile spread across Helena’s lips, and Barbara began to think that it might have been the smartest thing she had ever said.

“You think?” Helena asked bashfully.

“Oh yeah,” Barbara replied, smiling herself when Helena’s smile grew.  “You’re very blessed,” she added appreciatively, and the blush that touched Helena’s cheeks warmed Barbara’s whole body.  “I’ve distracted you,” Barbara continued a moment later.  “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” Helena breathed out kindly.  “I remember where I was,” she continued softly, offering Barbara a sweet little smile.  “With the crime-fighting, and living in a clock, pummeling dudes every night instead of partying with them, I think I just wanted something that other girls had, you know.  I don’t know how to say it exactly, but it’s like I felt that I missing out on something by just living so differently from most people.  But lately … I just haven’t felt so … restless I guess.  I haven’t felt like I had to chase after some dream about having a ‘normal life’ because I realized I already have one,” Helena continued.

“Do you?” Barbara asked softly, her uncertainty about the statement showing in the slight arch that came to her eyebrow.

“Yeah.  I’ve got someone to come home to,” Helena breathed out, vulnerable blue eyes flickering up to meet Barbara’s for a moment before they nervously skittered away again.  “I’ve got someone who frustrates me more than any other living person, but who also makes me smile and laugh more than anyone else in the world,” Helena continued, her hand unconsciously squeezing at Barbara’s as she spoke.  “I’ve got someone to curl up on the couch with and watch TV.  I know someone’s quirks and oddities, and love them all the more for them.  I’ve got someone I want hangout with every day of my life … and hold every night,” she whispered.  “I’ve got you,” Helena stated, looking up into Barbara’s eyes again.  

“I kissed you because I wanted to,” Helena said holding Barbara’s eyes.  “And because after being uncertain and hesitant for so long, my heart finally couldn’t take it anymore.  I just couldn’t keep pretending that I don’t wanna make out with you while I’m hanging out with you,” she went on, relieved to see Barbara’s lips curve up slightly as Barbara’s hand squeezed hers even more tightly.

“You’re my home, Barbara,” Helena continued, blinking rapidly to try and hold back the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes as the feelings their talk was bringing up in her began to overwhelm her.  “When I have time, you’re the person I want to spend it with.  When I’ve got a story, you’re the person I want to tell it to.  When I hear a love song …you’re the person I think of,” Helena whispered, blushing again.  “I think you’re the hottest girl in the world, and if you pull me close, I promise you, I’ll never move away.”

“Oh,” Barbara exhaled sounding completely dazed and utterly pleased, though it wasn’t until a wide, unconscious smile touched her lips that Helena felt like she could breathe again.  “If you’d composed your essay’s as eloquently as that, you would have gotten a much better mark in my class,” Barbara continued blushing, the words tumbling from her mouth before she could think better of them.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” Helena replied, smiling gently over at Barbara.  “That was supposed to be a compliment, right?”

“Yes,” Barbara breathed out, “It was most definitely a compliment.  You’re … you’re much better at this than I am.”

“At what?  Complimenting gorgeous women?”

“I’m sure you’re much better at that then me as well,” Barbara joked, “but I meant talking … about feelings,” she continued, whispering the last word.

“It’s not a swear word, Barbara.  You can say it at regular volume.  No one’s gonna give you a detention,” Helena teased, and Barbara narrowed her eyes at her for a moment before reaching out and knocking the brunette lightly in the shoulder with her free hand.

“Hey, Barbara,” Helena began a short while later.  

After her bit of teasing, Barbara had taken up stroking the back of Helena’s hand with her thumb, which Helena was not at all opposed to, but she hadn’t spoken since Helena had, and it was beginning to make Helena anxious.  

“I might be better at talking about my feelings than you, but I still get nervous as hell,” Helena continued when Barbara looked up and met her eyes.  “Was it just instinct?”

“What?” Barbara asked, her eyebrows creasing in an adorably befuddled way.

She had been deep in thought, trying to find the right way to express what she was – and had been – feeling.  The word’s Helena had spoken to her had been so sweet, and heartfelt, and she wanted to her response to worthy of effort Helena had made.  She wanted to take Helena’s breath away as well.

“When you kissed me back?” Helena whispered.

When she’d kissed Barbara, Barbara had returned it, with passion. But that was before she had rambled out all of her feelings, and she couldn’t help but worry that saying so much so soon had freaked Barbara out.  Or worse, that her wanting a serious relationship and not just sex had made Barbara regret having kissed her at all.

“Was it just a reflex?  Is that why you’re being so quiet? Are you trying to find a way to break it to me gently?”

“Break what to you gently?” Barbara asked, Helena’s tone and expression making her heart ache.

“That you don’t feel the same way as me.  That you don’t want to be with me like I want to be with you,” Helena breathed out.

“No, never,” Barbara said immediately, speaking so quickly that her words almost overlapped with the last of Helena’s.  “I do.  I do want that … to be with you.  I do feel the same way. I’m never happier then when I’m with you,” Barbara continued, smiling as tears began to form in her eyes.  “This is just so … I never imagined … no, no that’s not true.  I imagined, I hoped, I dreamed, but I never really thought that you would, or could want me too.”

Even then and there, after everything Helena had said to her, the slithering voice of fear and doubt still hissed in Barbara’s mind, filling her with worries about the new romantic part of their relationship not working out, and the aftermath of what something like that would look like.

Even then and there, with Helena staring up at her like the sun rose and set at her feet, Barbara’s mind tortured her with thoughts of Helena disappearing, leaving her life along with her bed, retreating to another city like Dick had after their split.

Her mind plagued her with awful imaginary tableaus of them fighting, truly fighting with each other, hating and resenting each other.  

She thought about her chair, and physical limitations her injury put on her, and she worried that she would not be able to fully satisfy Helena.  She imagined scenes of terrible awkwardness, where eventually Helena tired of trying to accommodate her in bed and they attempted go back to the friendship they had had before, only to realize that there is no going back.  She imagined Helena passing through her fingers like smoke through an open window, and it made her heart feel like it was being squeezed in a vice.

“When you kissed me,” Barbara continued, “it felt so good, and I wanted it so much, and I was terrified to look at you after because I was sure it had to be mistake. But then you started to talk and,” an absolutely stunning smile touched her lips.  “I’ve never been so happy to wrong.”

The fear and the doubt were still there, prowling at the edges of her mind, but luckily for Barbara, she had never been one to allow fear and doubt to control her for long.  If she had, she never would have become a national level gymnast.  She never would have lied to father about studying at the library when she had really been getting muay thai, single-stick and boxing lessons in the city.  If she had been the type to let fear and doubt control her, she would never have put on her homemade suit and gone out on patrol, or made enough of an impression on the lowlifes of Gotham to register on Batman’s radar.  She never would have thrown a punch at Batman, or goaded him into a fight so he could see just how good she was.  If Barbara had let fear rule her, she never would have become Batgirl or accomplished any of the things in her life that she was most proud of.  

No, fear and doubt were not alien emotions to Barbara, but they were feelings that she had dedicated her life to overcoming, and she wasn’t going to start giving into them presently.

“There’s gotta be a first time for everything, right?” Helena joked, her cheeks dimpling as she returned Barbara’s smile.

“We should write this down, for posterity.  On November 6th at 9:15 pm, Barbara Gordon was finally wrong,” Barbara teased back.

Her hand found its way to Helena cheek again after she finished speaking, and Helena melted into the touch, giving into it in a way she hadn’t before Barbara had shared her feelings.  Secure now that she wasn’t waiting for rejection, Helena allowed her eyes to close and leaned into the touch, and before she was even fully aware of what she was doing, Barbara found herself swaying towards Helena until they were kissing again.

When they broke apart that time, Barbara’s hand had migrated under Helena’s shirt and Helena had migrated onto Barbara’s lap, straddling her as she gazed down at Barbara with eyes that had shifted into golden, catlike slits.

“Barbara…” Helena whispered, her voice rough and thick with a desire that her feral gaze also spoke to.

“Don’t worry, Kitten,” Barbara breathed out, emboldened and aroused by the naked want in Helena’s eyes.  “I won’t think less of you if you put out on the first date,” she continued, and Helena’s lips curved up into a wicked grin.

“This isn’t even a date,” Helena murmured.

“That’s debatable.  You did cook me dinner after all,” Barbara pointed out, and Helena grinned again.

“All things in heaven and on earth can breathe easy again,” Helena drawled before leaning down to capture Barbara’s lips again.  “Barbara Gordon is back to being right,” she continued when they parted, flashing Barbara a cheeky grin before she kissed her again.

“Helena?” Barbara sighed breathlessly, minutes later.

“Yeah?”

“Heaven and earth might be doing alright, but this isn’t helping _me_ breathe easy,” Barbara replied, her tongue peeking about from between her lips to wet them as her eyes focused covetously on Helena’s lips.

Helena breathed in sharply as Barbara’s words reached her ears, and then her hips undulated, rolling into Barbara as she moaned softly, her body throbbing and pulsing with desire. The movement, and the arousal it signaled, was unmistakable, and Barbara found herself clutching at Helena and biting down on her bottom lip as a corresponding rush of desire coursed through her own body.

“Barbara,” Helena said softly, sounding almost bashful as she looked down at Barbara coquettishly.  “I’m…I don’t know if I can …”

“I know,” Barbara breathed out huskily.

Helena had told her in the past how difficult it was for her to control her desires when she went feral, and Barbara could feel the tension in Helena’s body as she now struggled to keep herself still.

“We don’t have to …” Helena started, beginning to shift off of Barbara’s lap as she spoke, knowing that she had to put some space between their bodies before she’d been able to regain the smallest bit of control over her hormones.

“I want to,” Barbara replied immediately, using the hold she had on Helena’s hips to tug the brunette back down on top of her.

Relief flooded through Helena.  She would have stopped if that’s what Barbara had wanted, but she was more aroused than she could ever remember being before, and she desperately wanted to keep touching Barbara.  She desperately wanted to make love to her, and there were no words to express how glad she was that it seemed like she would finally get the chance to.

“Will you slap me if I carry you to bed?” Helena asked, knowing that Barbara preferred to travel under her own power. They would get to Barbara’s bedroom faster if Helena carried her however, but she wanted to make sure it would be okay with Barbara before doing it.

“Only if you say please,” Barbara replied wickedly, and Helena could not contain the hungry purr Barbara’s words made rumble in her chest.

“Jesus, Barbara,” Helena hissed, just managing to stop herself from humping Barbara again as a wave of want flooded her.  “You know exactly what you’re doing to me, don’t you?” Helena husked a few seconds later, finally regaining enough sense to note the mischievous little twinkle shining in Barbara’s green gaze.

“Yes,” Barbara admitted, holding Helena’s eyes.

“Good,” Helena purred.  “Keep it up,” she added before flashing Barbara a grin.  “May I?” she asked solicitously a moment later, gesturing towards Barbara’s body.

Barbara nodded her head, and Helena leaned forward, pressing her lips against Barbara’s cheek sweetly, lingering there for a moment before she finally slipped off of Barbara’s lap and scooped the redhead up into her arms.

xxx

Barbara’s mind was lost in the hazy mid-realm between wakefulness and slumber when her brain detected movement beside her.  Instinctively, Barbara rolled over and extended her arm in search of the warm body that had been nestled against her only moments before, her fingers just managing to graze Helena’s arm as the brunette slipped out of the bed.

“Where’re you going?” Barbara murmured sleepily, blinking into the darkness of the room as her brain struggled to reboot so soon after entering sleep-mode.

Barbara was having trouble seeing in the dark, but Helena’s meta-human eyes could make out every detail of the other woman, and a smile came to her face as she observed the sleepily befuddled expression that had come onto Barbara’s face.

“I’m just going to get your chair,” Helena breathed out, kneeling on the mattress once again so that she could press a soft kiss to Barbara’s cheek.  “I’ll be right back,” she promised.  “Scout’s honour.”

“You were never a Scout,” Barbara murmured, reaching out for Helena again as she attempted to slip of the mattress once more.  Barbara’s mind was still a little foggy, but she was awake enough to know that she wasn’t quite ready to let go of Helena yet, not even for a few minutes.  “Com’ere,” she whispered, tugging on the wrist her fingers hand managed to capture, and Helena happily allowed herself to be drawn back onto the bed and to Barbara.

Barbara’s hand found Helena’s cheek and guided the brunette down until their lips were pressed together, and she could feel Helena smile into the kiss which brought a smile to Barbara’s lips as well.

“Thank you,” Barbara said when they finally parted.

“For what?” Helena breathed out, somewhat distractedly, as she leaned in to kiss Barbara again, addicted to the taste of Barbara’s lips the moment she had felt them.

“Going to get my chair,” Barbara said softly when her lips were no longer occupied by Helena.

She’d always had to ask with previous lovers if she hadn’t entered the bedroom under her own power. She’d always hated having to bring it up after love-making, but having the chair nearby was a necessity for her, and it was just not something that new lovers thought about. Helena was not someone new to her life, however.  Helena knew, better than anyone save Barbara herself, all of the little ways being in the chair affected her life, and all of the small and large accommodations Barbara had to make to doing things because of it.  Helena knew. Helena knew what she needed, Helena knew when to offer help and when not to.  Helena knew her, and it was such a relief.

“You’re welcome,” Helena murmured before pressing her lips against Barbara’s cheek once more.  “I’ll be back in a jiffy,” she added with a grin that she was sure Barbara could only partially make out, and then she slipped off of the bed and headed for the door.

“Bring back some water,” Barbara called out, just as Helena moved through the doorway.

“You got it boss,” Helena drawled, sounding – Barbara thought – quite pleased with herself, and then she was out of the door, and Barbara lay back on her pillow with a smile.

Helena was true to her word, and only a few minutes later she returned to the bedroom with Barbara’s chair and two bottles of water.  She brought the chair over to Barbara’s side of the bed and positioned it exactly as Barbara herself did every night, and then with a grin down at the redhead she got onto the bed and climbed over Barbara, settling herself beside her before she handed over one of the bottles of water.

“Any excuse to get on top of you,” Helena drawled, waggling her eyebrows at Barbara when the redhead shook her head at her.

“I think you know you don’t need an excuse,” Barbara husked as she uncapped the water bottle and brought it to her lips.

Though she had tried not to let her mind wander into such intimate territory, there were times in the past, when Barbara could not control the direction her thoughts took, and she had imagined what it might be like to make love to Helena.  Her mind had always been complimentary to the brunette, for like her mother before her, Helena was effortlessly sensual.  The way she stood, the way she moved, the way her lips would curl around her words, the passion that burned so brightly in those lovely blue eyes and the playfulness that so often flashed in them.  All of that and more had led Barbara to believe that sleeping with Helena would be an extremely satisfying endeavor.

The reality of it had been better than anything she had been able to imagine however.  It had been more, so much more than she ever could have dreamed of.  More intense, more emotional, more passionate, more intimate, more tender.  Helena had made love to her like Barbara’s pleasure was the most important thing in the universe to her, she had gazed at her and touched her like Barbara was a wonder of nature, like she was a thing of such rare beauty and majesty that Helena could hardly believe she was real.  And when Barbara had touched her, when her mouth had closed around Helena’s nipple for the first time, when her fingers slipped into the moist heat between Helena’s legs, filling her, Helena had grasped at her so desperately and looked at her so wondrously that it took Barbara’s breath away.  Barbara had never felt more powerful, nor been more humbled.  Helena’s desire for her was undeniable, and her love unmistakable.

“Don’t start with me, Barbara,” Helena said in a warning tone as she watched Barbara drink from the bottle with rapt interest, remembering what those lips had felt like wrapped around her nipple, sucking on them.  “I will keep you up all night.”

Barbara smiled wickedly as she held Helena’s gaze, knowing that Helena was able to make her out far more clearly than she could see the brunette.

“That’s okay,” she breathed out.  “I’ve got a lot of sick days banked.”

“Oh yeah,” Helena purred.  “What’s the phone code for orgasm fatigue?” she asked with a smirk as she leaned over to rest her water bottle on the bedside table.  

She was going to need her hands free for what she planned to do next.

“Helena,” Barbara said, shaking her head sadly at the other woman once Helena was facing her again.  “It’s like you’re not even trying.  It’s obviously pound sign 69.”

“I’ll pound sign 69 you,” Helena drawled, sliding closer to Barbara.

“And here we have the triumphant return of the lyrical prose that got you a solid ‘C’ in English class,” Barbara replied as she happily accepted Helena into her arms.

“Oh, was that not romantic enough for you?” Helena asked with a smile before she leaned in and brought their lips together.  “Does her Royal Highness Queen Oracle of Delphi want some poetry?”

“We do,” Barbara replied imperiously, nodding her head regally and gesturing for Helena to begin, if she actually had anything besides sarcastic retorts to say.

“Where true Love burns Desire is Love’s pure flame,” Helena began, and Barbara’s lips began to curve up, recognizing the Coleridge poem immediately.  “It is the reflex of our earthly frame,” Helena purred, “That takes its meaning from the nobler part,” she breathed, pressing her lips to the corner of Barbara’s smiling lips.  “And but translates the language of the heart.”

“I’m impressed,” Barbara whispered, when Helena pulled back slightly so that she could see Barbara’s face.

“Good,” Helena purred happily.  “Cause I’ve got another one for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Barbara asked, utterly charmed by Helena and glad that she no longer had to try and hide it.

“Yeah,” Helena confirmed, smiling wickedly.

“Okay, let’s hear it,” Barbara replied.

Helena cleared her throat dramatically, making Barbara roll her eyes at her theatrics, and then she focused her attention on Barbara once more.  “Ready?” Helena asked.

“A little scared, but yes,” Barbara said, knowing that Helena was up to something.

“Okay,” Helena paused for a second and took a deep breath.  “Roses are nice, violets are fine … I’ll be the six, if you be the nine.”  Helena was quiet for a few seconds, letting her words sink in, and then she smiled broadly at Barbara, utterly and completely amused by herself.

“Yeah,” Barbara drawled decisively, nodding to herself as she observed Helena’s amusement at her own wit.  “I’ve definitely got to find something better for you to do with your mouth.”

“I’ve been working on my beatbox game,” Helena offered helpfully.  “Or were you thinking more along the lines of me pound signing your bo…”

Barbara leaned in and brought her lips to Helena’s, silencing the brunette’s charming response with a kiss.  

Honestly, Helena was lucky she was so cute.

xxx

_ A Week Later _

Dinah sat at the kitchen table trying to lace up her boots as fast as humanly possible.  Helena had been making her way out onto the balcony to jump when she’d arrived back at the Clock Tower from studying at Gabby’s, and after she had whined a bit and pulled the puppy-dog face, Barbara had managed to convince Helena to wait for her to get suited up so that she could go on patrol with the brunette.

Dinah’s attempt to get her footwear mission ready was going slower than she would have liked however, because she kept getting distracted by Helena, who had followed her into the kitchen and began puttering around while Dinah pulled on the last bits of her patrolling outfit.

Helena had a bottomless pit for a stomach, but despite her voracious appetite, Dinah had never seen Helena eat or drink anything immediately before she went out on patrol.  This meant that she assumed Helena had followed her to bug her, which would have been a perfectly Helena thing to do, but instead Dinah was confused (and therefore distracted) as Helena simply put on the kettle before grabbing a knife out of the drawer so that she could start cutting up an apple.

Dinah had not forgotten about lacing up her boots, but she’d kept an eye on Helena too, half expecting that the brunette’s usually normal behavior was some kind of rouse, but Helena had left her alone as she went about slicing up the apple as the water boiled.

It was only when Helena pulled out Barbara’s favourite tea pot and tossed a couple bags of tea into it that Dinah figured out that Helena had actually made her way into the kitchen to prepare a snack for Barbara, not to make something for her own consumption.

Finally realizing why Helena had come to the kitchen with her, Dinah was no longer apprehensive about the brunette launching into an attack of teasing, but she found the fact that Helena was making a little snack for Barbara so precious that she still ended lacing her boots slowly because she had to concentrate on not verbally ‘aww’-ing over how sweet Helena could be when it came to Barbara.

“Hey,” Helena called out, not bothering to turn and look at Dinah as she spoke, “Mind on the mission, not on my ass.”

“I’m not looking at your ass,” Dinah sputtered indignantly, though she did avert her gaze from Helena’s general person since she was no longer finding Helena as adorable as she had before the brunette had spoken.

Helena scoffed and then declared, “Everybody looks at my ass,” before shooting Dinah a cocky grin when she turned around, a tray with a pot of tea and a plate of apple slices on it cradled in her hands.  “There’s no shame in it.  I’d stare at it too if I could figure out how.  Meet you downstairs,” she continued, still grinning, before she turned and headed for the staircase.  “Be there or be left behind sitting around in your PJs all night, because me and my fine ass are outta here in like five,” she added, turning back around to look at Dinah pointedly before she finally continued on her way.

Dinah glared at Helena’s back as she walked away, and then when the brunette was out of sight she mockingly mouthed, “ _There’s no shame in it…sitting around in your PJs … me and my fine ass,_ ” to herself.  “Douche canoe,” she muttered scathingly a second later, though she was careful to keep her voice whisper soft since she knew how good Helena’s hearing was.

Despite her complaining, Dinah was able to focus once Helena was out of the room, and a short while after the brunette had departed, Dinah was fully suited up and ready to go.

When she made it to the lower level of the Clock Tower, Helena was seated on the edge of Barbara’s desk, her legs dangling over the edge, swinging restlessly like a three year old on the subway, and Barbara had the mug that Helena had brought down for her cradled between her hands as she looked up at Helena with a gentle smile on her face while Helena talked to her about something Dinah was still too far away to hear.

“It’s about time,” Helena pronounced dramatically as she caught sight of Dinah.  “Barbara was about to send me on a patrol of the upper level to find out what happened to y…”

“Stop harassing her,” Barbara cut in before Dinah had a chance to, uncurling one of her hands from around the mug so that she could poke Helena lightly in the leg.  “You took ten times as long to get ready.”

Helena looked down at Barbara at that and arched a dark eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, well unlike the kid here, _someone_ was actively working to distract me,” Helena pointed out, and from the angle she was standing at, Dinah could easily make out the crooked grin that touched Barbara’s lips in response to Helena’s words.

“All the more reason you should be in a good mood,” Barbara murmured softly, keeping her voice low enough that only Helena could hear her response.

Dinah couldn’t hear what Barbara said to Helena in response, but the wicked smile that spread across Helena’s lips really made her wish that she had.  She knew that they didn’t do it on purpose – well, she was sure that Barbara didn’t do it on purpose – but it made her feel a little left out when they would slip into their own little world, trading comments back and forth and smirking at each other’s jokes.  It was cute at times, but the way they would sometimes get lost in each other also had the side effect of making anyone else in the room with them feel like a third wheel, and Dinah was usually the one in the room with them.

“All set?” Barbara asked, turning to face her current ward.

“Yeah,” Dinah replied, her response equal parts glum and peevish as she eyed both of them with displeasure, feeling distinctly wheel-like.

“Aww,” Helena began to coo teasingly.

“Don’t start with her,” Barbara interjected before Helena could get any farther.

“But … look at her face!” Helena replied, gesturing towards Dinah and her surly expression.  “Lookit her widdle frown.  She’s giving me a hand-written invitation, Barbara.  This is no time to act my age,” Helena continued, looking at Barbara beseechingly.

“Do you ever?” Dinah asked snippily, earning an amused smile from Helena, which only made her more irritated.

“I’ll have you know that I engage in adult behavior all the time,” Helena drawled, waggling her eyebrows.

“No one asked about your sex life, Helena,” Dinah grumbled.

“Who was talking about sex, pervette?  I meant paying my bills on time and always making my bed.”

Dinah glared at her for a second, and then muttered, “No you didn’t,” under her breath.

Helena had been making a sex joke and they all knew it, but there was no way to prove it without using her powers in a completely unacceptable way.

“What was that?” Helena asked, bringing her hand up to cup her ear.  “I couldn’t hear over the sound of you being wrong.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Barbara cut in when Dinah looked over at Helena with fire in her eyes.  “If you two are going to keep this up, do it away from me.  Go on, get out of here.  I’ll call you if Delphi flags something,” she continued, waving her hand at them, motioning them away.

“Aw, we’ll miss you two, Red,” Helena breathed out as she slipped off the edge of the desk, a teasing little smile touching her lips before she instinctively leaned down and pressed her lips against Barbara’s, kissing her sweetly before she turned to look at Dinah and clapped her hands together decisively.

“Okay, let’s go, kid,” Helena announced.  “These boots were made for ass-kicking and that’s what they want to do.”

Dinah simply stood there staring at her.

“That’s funny. I could have sworn that English word sounds came out of my mouth.  Lemme try again.   _Let’s go, kid!_ ” Helena said, gesturing impatiently at Dinah who simply continued to gape at her.  “Is she having a stroke?  Barbara, I think she might be having a stroke,” Helena said, glancing over her shoulder to look at the redhead.

“Actually, Dr. Kyle, I think she’s just trying to process the fact that you kissed me,” Barbara replied with a touch of amusement in her voice.

“No, I didn … yes I did,” Helena said, correcting herself mid-sentence as she realized that she had indeed kissed Barbara right in front of Dinah.  “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag.  Listen kid,” Helena continued, focusing on Dinah who was still looking between the two of them in wide-eyed dismay.  “It’s no big deal.  Birds do it, bees do it, even educated vigilantes with amazing hair, killer abs and secret lairs do… ”

“How long has this been going on?” Dinah asked; her voice pitched high as her eyes darted back and forth between the two women.

When she had first met Barbara and Helena she had thought that there was something going on between them.  In fact, for the first week she had lived with Barbara she had been convinced that they were a couple. Helena was almost always at the Clock Tower in the morning, the two of them casually touched each other all the time, they finished each other’s sentences, and argued about grocery shopping, and gazed at each other like they thought the other one was the most adorable thing they had ever seen.  Sure she hadn’t seen them kiss or disappear into Barbara’s bedroom together at the end of the night, but everything about how they had acted together had screamed couple to Dinah.

But then Barbara had started talking about some guy named Wade who she had just broken up who with trying to get back together with her, and Helena started awkwardly flirting with Reese on patrols, and Dinah’s perception of the new world she was living in had gone topsy turvy because she’d been sure … the emotions she had felt when they were in that dreamscape, the gentleness that Helena only ever displayed around Barbara, the way Barbara looked at Helena like she was the cutest thing ever even when Helena was going off on some ridiculous rant … Dinah had been sure that they  … but it seemed not, so eventually Dinah came to accept that she had simply misread a very close friendship as a romantic relationship.

But now, after what she had just seen, it was clear that she hadn’t been wrong about the chemistry between them, and she couldn’t help but wonder just how long she had been oblivious to the fact that sometime after she had moved in they actually had become a couple.

“In my heart …” Helena began.

“About a week,” Barbara replied at the same time, answering Dinah’s question plainly which made Helena look over at her peevishly, to which Barbara merely shrugged.

“Oh,” Dinah breathed out, relieved that she had not been clueless about the fact that they were together for months – though, she thought, given that she hadn’t really noticed a change in how they acted around each other she wondered how long she would have remained unaware if Helena hadn’t slipped up in such an obvious way.

“Oh,” Helena repeated amusedly as she looked over at Barbara.  “‘Oh’, she says.  Not the verbose response I was expecting from ‘Miss Talks So Long on her Cell that It Dies Mid Call’, but I’ll take it,” Helena continued before she began to walk towards the balcony.  “Are you coming with me or what?  If we don’t leave soon all the criminals are gonna be in bed.”

“Dinah,” Barbara began in a kind tone, “if you’d like to talk about … things, you can stay here with me.  The change in our relationship,” Barbara continued, gesturing over to Helena who gazing out onto the balcony longingly, “affects you too, and if …”

“It’s cool, Barbara.  Really,” Dinah said, gently cutting Barbara off.  “I’m happy for you. And like, honestly, when I first met the two of you, I totally thought you two were a couple, so this feels sort of like … the natural order of things, you know?”

“Does it?” Barbara asked curiously, intrigued by the idea that Dinah had been aware on some level of their feelings for each other, even as she and Helena had fought against them.  It made her wonder if anyone else in their lives had picked up on it to, if perhaps Alfred or her father would have the same non-reaction as Dinah since on some level they’d been expecting it.

“Yeah,” Dinah replied.  “I mean, you guys are like pretty adorable together.  Seriously, you should see the way you look at each other.  Your voices even change when talk to each other.  You two being together makes perfect sense.  What was hard was trying to wrap my mind around the idea that you _weren’t_ together.”

“What …” Barbara began, curious to find out more about the ways in which she acted differently around Helena.  She had thought that she had managed to keep the deeper feelings she had developed for Helena from showing on the surface, but her usually flawless surface mask apparently had some cracks in it.

“Barbara,” Helena whined before Barbara could continue.  “The teenager has spoken … and it was good.  Can we please go kick some ass now?” she pleaded as she focused her gaze on Barbara.

“Yeah, can we?” Dinah asked hopefully, turning her baby blues on Barbara as well.

“Alright, fine,” Barbara conceded, throwing her hands up in the air helplessly.  Long chats about feelings weren’t exactly her favourite thing in the world either, so if Dinah and Helena were satisfied with how the conversation had gone, then she was willing to move on as well.  “Go make the lowlifes of New Gotham regret their life choices.”

“Aye, aye, Oracle,” Helena replied, saluting Barbara with a grin.

Helena started towards the balcony after she spoke, but after taking a few steps she stopped suddenly.  She remained still for a moment, and then she turned and made her way back over to Barbara, then bent down to press a soft kiss to Barbara’s lips.

“Dinah’s going to tease you,” Barbara whispered as Helena straightened up, though she suspected Helena already knew that, which is why the brunette had paused before making her way back over to Barbara.

“A price I’m more than willing to pay,” Helena replied softly, a wave of warmth spreading through her entire body when Barbara smiled at her.

“Are we gonna go fight some crime, or are you two just gonna flirt all night?” Dinah inquired a few seconds after Helena smiled back at Barbara and they fell into simply gazing at each other with infinite affection.

Helena huffed irritably at the interruption and turned her head towards Dinah to level her with a subarctic glare.

“Go protect New Gotham,” Barbara said, slapping Helena on the ass, which transformed the Helena’s glare into grin.  “I’ll be here for you to flirt with when you get back,” she continued, which drew a smile from Dinah.

“I’m gonna do more than flirt with you when I get back,” Helena purred softly as she bent down again to kiss Barbara once more.

Helena smiled at Barbara when she pulled back, the expression both playful and lovingly suggestive, and then she turned and headed over to where Dinah was standing.  A moment after that she and Dinah were both in motion, moving towards the balcony, and then onto it, Helena leaping over the edge a second later, while Dinah TK’d herself over in the direction Helena had jumped.

Barbara watched her girls go affectionately, her heart aching only a little that she wasn’t able to leap over the edge into the night with them, and then she moved herself back over to her favourite monitor.  She could not swing from roof top to roof top anymore, but she still had a city to help keep safe, and a family to watch over.

xxx

_ Epilogue _

“You sound chipper,” Jim commented, making a concerted effort to sound nonchalant. He had noticed, the last few times that he had spoken to her, that Barbara had seemed lighter, happier, and overall more content, but he had no idea as to what had happened in her life to inspire the change – though he hoped to rectify that during their current conversation.

“A stark contrast to my usual depressed monotone,” Barbara commented dryly as her fingers flew over her keyboard.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jim sighed, frowning on this end of the phone.

“It is a little,” Barbara replied, but there was no real chastisement or hurt in her voice.  She was self-aware enough to admit that her mood had changed since she had gotten together with Helena, and she could not really be mad at her father for noticing.  “Maybe I’m just giddy about my father, the police commissioner of New Gotham, actually asking me to get up to no good.”

“We’ve been over this already,” Jim began, a warning note in his voice.

“I know, I know.  It is in the name of justice.  I’m family.  I’m the only one with the necessary skills that you can trust to conduct this delicate work.  Honestly, I’m honoured that you came to me with it, and I’m happy to help,” Barbara responded, her teasing tone becoming more serious as she continued to speak.  “Stil…”

“Yes, I know.  The father still leads the child astray.  Enjoy it while you can,” Jim sighed.

“Oh, I will, Dad.  I am,” Barbara laughed, her eyes veering away from the monitor in front of her for a second when she heard the elevator door open.  “Hey,” Barbara called out tenderly, her lips curving up into a smile as she laid eyes on Helena’s lithe form.

“Greetings Ginger Goddess,” Helena replied, sauntering over to Delphi.

“Is someone there?  Who are you talking to?” Jim asked, his curiosity peaked as he noted a subtle but telling change in the timber of Barbara’s voice.  As far as he was aware, Barbara hadn’t dated anybody since that Wade fellow she had gone out with briefly, but the possibility that she had started dated someone new and hadn’t told him was not only likely, but classically Barbara.

Barbara’s body jerked slightly in surprise, her father’s voice coming through her earpiece momentarily jarring her out of the Helena haze she always seemed to fall into whenever the brunette entered the room.

“It’s Helena,” Barbara told her father, Helena’s name falling from her lips with great affection, she turned to look at Helena and said, “My Dad,” answering her question before she could voice it.

Helena grinned upon hearing that and moved over to Barbara, bending down so that she could say, “Hey, Jimbo!” into the Bluetooth.

“Say ‘hello’ for me,” Jim stated dryly.

“He says ‘hello’,” Barbara related to Helena.  

Helena probably could have heard this reply through the phone if she had been listening, but Barbara knew that she wouldn’t be abusing her powers that way.  Besides, her father was still unaware of just how much Helena had inherited from her mother, and that being the case, he would have found it strange if Barbara didn’t verbally pass on his response.

“And he continues to love that you call him that,” Barbara added, not having missed her father’s less than enthused tone of voice.

“Of course he does.  I’m very lovable,” Helena replied, loud enough that Jim could hear her Barbara realized when he snorted on the other end of the phone.  “Don’t you worry Jim, she’s eating her vegetables and getting plenty of exercise,” Helena called out a bit louder, intending for Jim to hear her this time.  “I’m lookin’ out for your girl.”

“How comforting,” Jim muttered sarcastically, though he was slightly distracted as he contemplated all that had happened since Helena had apparently entered the penthouse.  He could have sworn that Barbara’s greeting to her visitor held a romantic affection, but Barbara had always been incredibly fond of Helena, which made it completely within the realm of possibly that the soft, sweet tone he had heard was simply how Barbara sounded when she saw Helena.  After all, they had certainly been through enough together for Helena to hold a special place in Barbara’s heart.

“He says that’s very comforting to know,” Barbara passed on for her father.

“And what level of sarcasm would you say he used?  1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest,” Helena inquired.

“A fifteen, maybe a sixteen,” Barbara replied mildly.  “It’s hard to tell when I can’t see how frowny his face is.”

Helena’s laughter reached Jim through the phone, and the deep sigh that came from his end made that smile that was already on Barbara’s face grow even larger.

“You’re not letting yourself get distracted are you?” Jim asked, growing tired of Barbara and Helena’s comedy routine.

He had always been grateful for knack Helena had for making Barbara smile, but they were impossible to be around sometimes.

“Distracted?  By Helena?  Never,” Barbara replied, her words causing Helena to lift a dark eyebrow at her in challenge.  “I’d almost forgotten she was here,” Barbara continued, holding Helena’s eyes, silently accepting the dare.  “Dad,” Barbara continued a moment later, her voice serious now.  “I’m going to mute you for a second.  I think I’ve found something, but I need to dig a little deeper.”

“Whatever you need,” Jim replied easily, though he found her timing somewhat suspicious.  Barbara had gone quiet a few times during their chat as she got caught up in bits of code, but this was the first time she had put him on hold, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it had to do with Helena.

Barbara reached up and touched a button on her earpiece, then looked over to meet Helena’s wolfish grin.  Barbara blinked, and when her eyes were open again, Helena was on her lap and her hands were moving in a way designed to distract Barbara in the most pleasant way.

Barbara sighed happily, and leaned up to kiss Helena properly, but before the touches and kisses could turn truly heated, she captured Helena’s hands and stilled them.

“You actually did find something, didn’t you?” Helena asked, hanging her head down sadly.  

She’d thought that Barbara had said that just to give them a little time to be naughty without Jim hearing something that would scar him for life, but it seemed not.

“Yeah,” Barbara breathed out, tilting Helena’s head up so that she could kiss her again.  “Though I was actually planning on letting you feel me up a little bit before I noticed the anomaly,” Barbara continued, released Helena’s hands.

“Really?” Helena asked, looking absolutely adorable as she stared at Barbara through her bangs.

Barbara nodded her head earnestly and Helena smiled at her.

“When you’re done…”

“I’m all yours,” Barbara promised.

“Okay,” Helena murmured, and then an impish expression came into her eyes and she reached out, cupping Barbara’s breast in her hand before caressing it gently.  “One for the road,” she breathed out when her hand fell away, and smiling, Barbara swatted Helena on the side as she slipped off of redhead’s lap.

Barbara watched for a few moments as Helena wandered off towards the kitchen, then she focused on the screen in front of her again and began to work in earnest.

“I’m afraid I’ve got bad news,” Barbara started a few minutes later, unmuting her earpiece.  “There’s definitely been a program installed onto the NGPD network.  I’ve managed to trace one of the functions of it, but it’s a digital hydra.  It’s got multiple heads and each one seems to be programed to carry out a specific task.”

“Will you be able to identify all of the functions the program is designed to carry out?”

“Of course,” Barbara replied, sounding slightly offended.  “You wouldn’t have called me otherwise,” she continued, and on the other end of the phone she heard her father laughed in agreement.

Over the next hour, Barbara stayed on the phone with Jim while she worked through the problem, while Helena sat perched on her desk, steadily eating her way through three different snacks as she played a videogame on one of the monitors Barbara wasn’t using.  

Barbara kept her earpiece on for a while, but once she was certain Helena would remain on her best behavior, she put her father on speakerphone, and the three of them carried on a pleasant conversation while she worked.  

At times, Barbara would get caught up on what was happening on her monitor, and during those lapses from her, Jim and Helena took the opportunity to talk about her like she wasn’t there until she made a snarky comment to make it clear that there was in fact nothing wrong with her ears.

At other times throughout the hour, Jim simply sat back and listened as Barbara and Helena bantered back and forth, glad for the glimpse he was getting into his normally guarded child’s personal life, and comforted by warmth and tenderness that characterized Barbara and Helena’s interactions with each other.

“Did you receive the package?” Barbara asked finally, lifting her hands from her keyboard for the first time in over an hour.

“No, not …” an alert could be heard over the phone from Jim’s computer, and then, “yes,” he corrected, causing Helena to laugh silently.

“Do you know what you’re going to do with it?” Barbara asked, shaking her head at Helena though a small smile played across her lips.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” Jim replied, his voice heavy with the task before him.  “Thanks for your help, sweetie.”

“Any time, Dad,” Barbara responded earnestly, drawing a smile to her father’s face.

“Can I talk to Helena for a moment?” Jim asked, his question surprising Barbara.

“Go ahead, she’s still sitting here eating all my food,” Barbara replied.

“All _our_ food,” Helena corrected from her perch.  “I’m the one who did the grocery shopping.”

“I meant in private,” Jim clarified, his words causing Barbara to turn and look at Helena curiously.

“Whatever they told you, I didn’t do it,” Helena said seriously, staring at the device Jim’s voice was coming from.  “Seriously.  I swear I haven’t done any crimes.”

“You’re not in trouble, Helena,” Jim replied.  “Barbara?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Of course,” Barbara said slowly, her confusion clear in her voice.  “I’ll just go make some tea.  You two enjoy your chat,” she continued, switching off the speakerphone and handing Helena her earpiece before she wheeled back from the desk.

Tempted as she was to try and eavesdrop, Barbara respected her father’s request and headed up to kitchen, giving Helena and Jim their privacy.

It wasn’t long until Helena made her way up to the kitchen, perhaps ten minutes or so, Barbara’s tea had just finished steeping when the brunette’s gorgeous form appeared materialized, but with Barbara’s big brain running a mile a minute trying to figure out what her father wanted to talk to Helena about in private, it seemed like it had been hours since she’d left them.

“Absolutely,” Helena was saying as she plopped herself into the chair beside where Barbara was seated.  “I’m gonna get offended if you keep talking,” Helena said, clearly teasing though there was a note of seriousness in her voice.  “It’s the safest bet in the world.  Yeah, yeah … I’ll hand you back over to her,” she continued, and then Helena removed the device from around her ear and handed it back over to Barbara.

As Helena busied herself pouring herself a mug of tea from the pot Barbara had made, Barbara and her father said their goodbyes.

“All done?” Helena asked, when Barbara removed the earpiece and placed it on the table.

“Uh huh,” Barbara replied, eyeing Helena intently.

“You wanna know what he wanted to talk to me about, don’t you?” Helena asked, smiling mischievously.

“I might be slightly curious,” Barbara said, shrugging her shoulders.

Not the least bit fooled by Barbara’s antics, Helena laughed lightly, and then abandoned the mug of tea she had poured in favour of rising from her chair and slipping onto Barbara’s lap.

“You said you’d be all mine when you were done,” Helena reminded the redhead.

“I did,” Barbara acknowledged, “but…”

“But nothing,” Helena interjected, looking at Barbara with teasing sternness.  “Are you a woman of your word, or aren’t you?”

Barbara stared at Helena for a few seconds, mulling over her lovers tone and expression, and then she frowned.

“You’re not going to tell me until I let you have your way with me, are you?” Barbara asked sullenly.

Helena smiled and shook her head.

“This is sexual blackmail,” Barbara muttered, though there was a wicked look in her eyes when she tilted her head up to meet Helena’s shining eyes.

“You gonna pay up?” Helena inquired, the low, rough edge that tinged her voice making her desire abundantly clear.

Barbara smiled and tilted her head up so that could capture Helena’s lips in a searing kiss.

Her curiosity could wait for a while.

xxx

“We should go check on, Dinah,” Barbara murmured though she didn’t sound at all interested in moving.  “It’s getting late, she could be hungry,” she sighed as Helena continued to kiss her way up her spine.

“Our ancestors hunted and gathered for millions of years in hostile environments and they managed to survive,” Helena breathed out, halting her trail of kisses for a moment to playful nip at Barbara’s skin.  “If Dinah can’t fend for herself in a fully stocked kitchen then maybe we shouldn’t help her pass on those genes to future generations,” Helena continued, laughing when Barbara made an admonishing sound.  “She’ll be fine, Barbara,” Helena said in a more serious voice, before kissing Barbara’s shoulder.  “If she needed something she would have knocked.”

“Would she have?” Barbara asked skeptically, aware that Dinah was probably very aware of what they were doing in there.

“Knowing you were knocking boots never stopped me from bugging you if I needed something,” Helena pointed out, reaching out to help Barbara as she shifted over so that they would be facing each other.

“You and Dinah are very different people,” Barbara said as she settled down again, now able to see Helena’s face.  “And you had an ulterior motive that Dinah doesn’t have.”

“Did I?” Helena asked innocently.

“You were interrupting for interrupting’s sake.  Not because you needed anything.  You just didn’t want me to have orgasms unless you were the one giving them,” Barbara replied, trying not to smile as she watched Helena’s smile grow larger and larger with every word she spoke.

“There may be some truth in that,” Helena breathed out eventually.  “But in my defense, I didn’t quite realize that’s why I was doing it.  I just,” Helena dipped her head down a little, her dark bangs flopping in front of her face to obscure her features as she did.  “It just … I knew I was being a punk, I just couldn’t stop myself,” she sighed.  “There is a part of me that’s sorry about that,” Helena went on, looking up to meet Barbara’s eyes.

“You can make it up to me,” Barbara whispered, reaching up to brush some dark hair out of Helena’s face.  “What did my dad want to talk to you about?”

Helena laughed at that, and leaned over to kiss Barbara before she relaxed back on the mattress.

“Oh, that,” she sighed as she gazed into Barbara’s keen green eyes.  “He knows we’re dating.  He’s happy for us, but he will come after me if I hurt you – though he doesn’t think he’ll need to.  I should tell you that he knows so that you can stop torturing yourself trying to figure out how to tell him.  He doesn’t care that I’m a woman, and he’s not that surprised because he knew about you and Kelly Klare even though you never thought he did.  We’re having dinner with him and Sarah on Sunday, Dinah’s invited too,” Helena related, pausing to catch her breath before she arched a dark eyebrow at Barbara and added, “And who’s Kelly Klare?”

“We were on the Nationals team together,” Barbara breathed out, smiling a little.  “She had very impressive arms,” she added, her smile growing when Helena frowned.  “I can’t believe he knew about that and never said anything,” Barbara murmured, mostly to herself, a second later, shaking her head unconsciously in disbelief.

“He said that Kelly was a nice girl, he wasn’t worried about you getting pregnant, you were always very mature for your age, and that he was afraid if he sat you down for a talk about it that you’d get all weird,” Helena told her.

“Get all weird?  Really, Jim Gordon said that to you?” Barbara asked incredulously.

“Well, what he really said was, and I quote, ‘I would have sat her down and talked to her about it, but, well, you know Barbara,’” Helena quoted, deepening her voice as she repeated Jim’s words to Barbara.

“You know, Barbara,” Barbara repeated indignantly.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That’d you’d have gotten all weird about it,” Helena related.  “That’s why I said…”

“I wouldn’t have gotten weird about it,” Barbara said defensively.

Helena smiled at her widely.

“What?” Barbara inquired, her tone dark and her eyes narrowed.

“You’re getting weird about it now,” Helena pointed out.

“I’m not getting weird about it now, I’m getting weird about the fact that,” Helena’s smile grew and Barbara realized what she had said, and sighed deeply before correcting herself.  “What I meant to say, is that I’m confused and hurt by the fact that you and my father seem to think that I’m so emotionally underdeveloped.”

Helena’s smile faded as Barbara’s words reached her, and she leaned in to kiss the redhead softly, before she took Barbara’s hand into her own and responded to her.

“We don’t think that you’re emotionally underdeveloped,” Helena began softly, meeting Barbara’s eyes earnestly.  “You’re just sometimes a bit … reticent to talk about your feelings.  Though, when it’s really important … like when we got together, you do, and both Jim and I know that.  What you should really be taking from the conversation I had with him is that he trusts you, he understands you, and he’s willing to let you do things in your own time.”

Barbara watched Helena for a few seconds after she finished speaking, but she found nothing but sincerity in Helena’s tone, and finally relaxed and shifted closer to Helena, allowing the brunette to wrap her up in her arms.

“I might have been overthinking how and when to tell him,” she admitted, nuzzling into the warmth of Helena’s body.  “I would have gotten around to it,” she continued, her voice soft but insistent.

“I know,” Helena breathed out, “and so does he.  He just thought he’d help you out a bit.”

“How’d he even know?” Barbara asked, her tone mildly petulant in a way that made Helena want to smile.  Helena controlled herself however, she knew that Barbara was feeling a bit vulnerable at the moment and she didn’t want to make Barbara feel bad.

“I asked him that to,” Helena responded, “I didn’t think we acted any differently than we always have.”  She had been careful when they were on the phone with him.  She liked to tease Barbara, but she also knew when it was appropriate to and when it wasn’t, and she had no intention of putting Barbara in an awkward position with her father.  “I don’t really know the answer though.  All he said was, ‘I know my daughter, and Helena, I did used to be a detective.’”

Barbara sighed deeply, and Helena smiled and kissed the top of her head.

“If you’re really curious, you can ask him on Sunday.”

“I suppose,” Barbara murmured, brushing her lips against Helena’s clavicle.  “Is there anything else I need to know about your chat?”

“We’re supposed to bring dessert.  I vote for red velvet cake, or cannoli.  Can’t go wrong with...”

A loud knocking at the bedroom door interrupted the rest of Helena’s reply.

“I told you she’d knock if she needed something,” Helena murmured.

“If you’re conscious in there, Alfred wanted me to tell you that dinner’s ready,” Dinah called out loudly enough that her voice filtered to them through the door.

“We’ll be there soon,” Barbara yelled back, which apparently satisfied Dinah since no more knocking or yelled words came from the other side of the door.

“So torn,” Helena groaned when Barbara began to shift in her arms.  “I love food.  But I also love you naked.  Why do I have to choose?  Why does life test us like this?” she asked in an overly dramatic tone of voice, tilting her head up towards the heavens.

“Stop it,” Barbara admonished lightly as she pulled herself into an upright position.

“Oh, I am fortune's fool!”

“Go get dressed, the Academy isn’t paying attention,” Barbara replied as she transferred herself into her chair.

“Woe and misery.  Angst and tears.”

“Helena,” Barbara breathed out, her tone warning.

“Alright, alright,” Helena sighed, slipping off of the bed to begin hunting for her clothes.  “But there better be dessert.”

 

The End 


End file.
